What's in Your Way is the Way
I just finished reading a devotional about how the things you feel are in the way, may actually lead you to The Way of Jesus.
So then I got to thinking: What do I believe is in my way? Answer: THE WHOLE D*MN WORLD.
*Brace for incoming rant*
I am just trying to be the thriving, wonderful, ball of black girl magic that I know myself to be but the world will not let me be great. Let me tell you about the world. The world doesn't care about all the hard work I put into my education. It doesn't care about my degrees, or work ethic, or experience, or personality, or drive. All the world cares about is, "Who do you know and is that person important enough? Do they have the juice?"
That's BS!
Why does my career outlook hinge on whether or not I know some crusty person at your company? This is my LIFE you are talking about. This ain't no game of spades! I understand the need to want good team players, but why must we be so petty when it comes to hiring folks? Do you realize how much raw talent you pass up when you limit hiring practices to people within your own little bubble? And who the hell are you anyway to alter whole life potentials and outcomes based on the recommendations of acquaintances. And who the hell are these acquaintances that you'd put their opinions before whole people? And why the hell are ya'll playing these bald head games?
I would understand if this was for like a super important position, that gets paid six-figures, that's going to run the company or be the face or driving force. But these hoes are putting bouncers and guard dogs and lasers and electrified fences at the ENTRY LEVEL gate. Like really fam? I can't get into $30K-$40K/year club? Ya'll that pressed to be that exclusive?
And then I look on the company websites of all the places I would like to work. I look at the pictures of the teams that I would be a part of and its just: MONOTONE. They are male and they are white.
I'm not close with any white males who are successful in this field because I'm a black girl who grew up in the most segregated city in the country and me and Billy just didn't have a chance to connect and grow and thrive and why the hell do I need Billy to prove my worth anyway?
I AM ENOUGH!!
*Rant Complete*
So going back to the devotional: How is the world, the thing I believe to be in my way, going to lead me to the way of Jesus?
On one hand:
I feel more angry, disappointed and irritated than spiritual about the whole thing. These are my natural responses. I'm learning about patience but not how to be patient; more like I have none. I'm learning that trying to be content and positive and happy while going through inner turmoil is wishful thinking. Like that's cute. Really it is.
On the other hand:
All this does make me run to Jesus. I see these giants in my path. I have tried to be David on my own, but I have failed. That hurts but I am replenished and uplifted when I go to Jesus on these things. No, I can't be happy on my own. No, I can't be patient on my own. But with him? I've already conquered these things. He gives me my hope back when I've lost it. He gives me joy. Joy that I shouldn't have based on where I am and where I desire to be. Joy that I wouldn't have if I had to depend on me alone to provide it.
So it's true. What's in the way, is the way. Wishing your obstacles would disappear is really wishing away your need for God. And I will admit sometimes I don't want to need him. I want to need him for the really hard stuff not the everyday stuff. But our lives are the everyday, trivial, trifle things. If you won't allow God to show up there, then when will he ever show up in your life? Isn't it better to see and need him everyday? Isn't it better to cultivate your relationship with him? Don't just use him to pop in and out of your life for those few and far in between extraordinary days. Let him be an ever present, ever needed, ever accessible God to you.
