Literary Diva: Kyung-sook Shin
Photo: Lee Byungryul
International bestselling author Kyung-Sook Shin has garnered unprecedented levels of success for her novel, Please Look After Mom. Originally published in South Korea in 2008 and having sold over a million and a half copies, it is now the first of her books to be translated into English and is scheduled to be published in nineteen countries worldwide. Author of over a dozen works of both fiction and non-fiction, Shin's books are widely read and considered staples of Korean literature.
- Bio from BookBrowse.com
Shin writes a tearjerking, powerful testament of the pure devotion mothers have for their children and families in Please Look After Mom. She does an amazing job of portraying the pains of motherhood. Shin explores the sacrifices mothers make to ensure the success of their children and the well-being of their husbands, sometimes to the detriment of themselves. She juxtaposes their perceived superhuman qualities (by the family and outside world) with the realities of their humanity and individuality. This book is both an ode to mothers and a cautionary tale. (It screams: Call yo mama!) Though set in South Korea through the lens of a Korean family it is more than capable of reaching across cultures to rest in your heart and mind; to teach you to make sure you got mommy's back as much as she has yours. I believe the main character Park So-nyo is representative of all women and the struggle to care for our families and ourselves.
The Curse of Superwoman
Most people think their moms are pretty great as children. It's not until you become an adult that you realize just how remarkable they really are. The same thing goes for Park So-nyo. Park So-nyo is a poor woman living in rural South Korea raising four children. She has a husband but he's basically a deadbeat so for all intents and purposes lil mama is a single mother. She grows her own food, cooks every meal from scratch, with love, takes care of the house, hosts all the big family functions and cares for the children and her unfaithful husband. Park So-nyo puts the needs of her family high above her own. She seems convinced that because of her poverty and lack of education she isn't worth much. Thus she invest all that she has in other people. She sacrifices for her children so they won't end up like her and for her husband because he's useless. LOL no but seriously there's a line in the book where Park So-nyo basically says she hopes her husband dies first because if he doesn't he'll be completely lost without her. Man ain't worth a hill of beans.
The problem with this superwoman label? It just isn't true. I know, your mom is the bomb (haha) but your mom is still human. She has existed wholly, to herself, way before you came into the picture. She is an individual who once had her own hopes and dreams outside of her family. The tragedy of Park So-nyo is that because of her poverty and the oppressive expectations of womanhood in Korea, she can never realize those dreams. Once she's married with children that's the focus of her life. There's this one part in the book where her now grown daughter asks if she liked being in the kitchen all the time (she lived in that kitchen honey). The mother laughs and responds, it's not about what I liked to do or didn't like to do, it's what I had to do for my children. Mm!
Under the Cape
Park So-nyo's children and husband treat her, throughout her life, as some constant, ever-present being who's world revolves around them. Each family member comes to woefully realize that they took mom for granted. They hardly offered her a respite, thinking all she did was innate and normal. Meanwhile Park So-nyo is suffering from a serious illness and psychological traumas. She comes to have secret parts of her life that no one in the family knows about. Most of these secrets could have been discovered if her family members took greater interest in Park So-nyo 'the person' not just Park So-nyo 'the mom.'
How many women in your life are treated the same way? Maybe you're Park So-nyo. I'm reminded of Rose's character in Fences as well now that I reflect on Please Look After Mom. These women gave up so much for the betterment of everyone else but themselves. Korean girl, black girl, brown girl I'm here to tell you that you don't have to do that. Know that you are whole all on your own. No one completes you and no one can redeem you but yourself. You hold that power. Don't give that power to your children or your husbands. Cultivate yourself while you cultivate your family. You deserve it love. And if that means that sometimes the family has to fend for themselves it's okay. Them ungrateful heathens might not appreciate you until you're gone anyway, so do for you now honey!
I know I'm just a single woman with no family of my own but I said it anyhow dammit, your move.
